Mind Mapping - the NEWS (slowly - work in process)

Monday, September 30, 2013

NEWS Dissociative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder Week of September 23, #2 of 2

    • I'm new here as in I've just made an account. I've come across this forum in the past though and have read through a bit (but still not very much). I don't have an official diagnosis, I have been to see about 5 therapists and none of them have been able to understand or help. Some said I was too 'complex' for them. I am still unsure if I have DID because of a few things, which I will mention, but many many things make sense.
    • I am 18 and I have a few alters I know by name. I haven't even counted how many I know but they all have different things that I can distinguish them by such as attitude, traits, style, tastes in things, views on things etc. I also have some memory loss of things I've said or done in the previous days or even hours. I think there were other things too I wanted to mention but I find it hard to organise my thoughts sometimes.
    • The things which make me question whether I have DID are firstly, the alters didn't all have names, I had to choose them to make things simpler. Although, one of them refused to accept any name I gave her apart from one my SO came up with. Another is I am aware of the different alters and have some idea of how each of them feel from memory, although it is a bit foggy. And another is I don't really have sudden switches, it normally takes a few minutes or longer.
    • Believe it or not, I am a solo musician who is building a pretty good name for himself. I had my breakdown three years ago and haven't been able to work since. I turned to music and thought I would finally make a go of a solo all original career.It scares the hell out of me. Doingshows, meeting people, but I know and trust my system in this area, it's one place we all work really well together.
    • I have also started incorporating my DID into my work and act. It's become a way for me to do intense therapy inside, letting Alt's write and perform, and it has also brought some people to my shows who come and talk to me after and feel comfortable enough to share their painful stories....that's a pretty special gift I've been given (I'm obviously having a GOOD day today LMAO).
    • It's a unique situation and I can't explain how me make it work when in all other areas we are a shut-in.
    • i guess it's most easily summed up with, music has been there for me all my life. It's my oldest and dearest friend, it was my only family for more than a couple of decades. It told me the things I needed to hear, it let me share the emotions I had to get out. it is my lover, it is my everything.So, I guess it's not a career when it's therapy you love. lol. :)
    • Also referred to as multiple personality disorder, a condition in which a person s identity dissociates, or fragments, creating additional, distinct identities that exist independently of each other within the same person. Persons suffering from dissociative identity disorder (DID) adopt one or more distinct identities which co-exist within one individual.  Each personality is distinct from the other in specific ways.
    • One study conducted in 1986 found that in 37 percent of patients, alters even demonstrated different from the host.  Statistically, sufferers of DID have an average of 15 identities. The disorder is far more common among females than males (as high as 9-to-1), and the usual age of onset is in early , generally by the age of four.
    • Both stories reveal fascinating insightsand raise thought-provoking questionsabout the unconscious mind, the interrelationship between remembering and forgetting, and the meaning of personality development.  The separate and distinct personalities manifested in these two cases feature unique physical traits and vocational interests. In the study of this disorder, scientists have been able to monitor unique patterns of brainwave activity for the unique multiple personalities.
    • Eugene Levitt, a psychologist at the Indiana University School of Medicine, noted in an article published in Insight on the News (1993) that “In 1952 there was no listing for [DID] in the DSM, and there were only a handful of cases in the country.
      In 1980, the disorder [then known as multiple personality disorder] got its official listing in the DSM, and suddenly thousands of cases are springing up everywhere.
    • ” Another area of contention is in the whole notion of suppressed memories, a crucial component in DID. Many experts dealing with say that it is nearly impossible for anyone to remember things that happened before the age three, the age when much of the abuse supposedly occurred to DID sufferers
      Regardless of the controversy, people diagnosed with this disorder are clearly suffering from some profound disorder. As Helen Friedman, a clinical psychologist in St.  Louis told Insight on the News, “When you see it, it s just not fake.
    • okay , so i haven't heard of it till late last year and ive been pondering on it for a few months.  people know im weird and always call me weird, which i am to be honest. i do have voices in my head, constantly arguing with each other and telling themselves stuff i already know and analysing everything. then they give their opinions and start aruging.
    • i call voice one my normal, relaxed state, i call voice three my angry swearing state and voice 3 my cheery happy state.  i normally am state 3 when im at school, state 2 or 1 when im at home, but every now and then i can just have any state at any time, which is really annoying because of so many reasons.
    • i have had abuse in my childhood from alcoholic parents and bullying, and i can barely remember 2006 - 2008 at all. i can act normal around some people, but people who are my age ( i don't really have to know them) i just act like a complete freak around. im constantly spacing out, and i have strong feelings of nostalgia. i have constant mood swings, and it's starting to bug me. oh by the way i am a 15 year old girl :) if i do have a chance of having it i want to do something about it so i hope you can help x)
    • I'm just wondering if anyone here, has or has had, any animal alters.
    • I don't know if it's that "normal", well if it happens alot, or well, I don't know really how to word this. (it's not making much sense in my headright now.)But I don't think I've heard anyone talking about having an alter who's an animal. I'm just wondering if there's anyone here who does.
    • (I'm pretty sure I used to when I was younger, actually two of them, I'm not sure if there still here though.)So just wondering if anyone else does
    • new part came out although he is one of the oldest parts i think, he is holding memories from very far back. i say he but he is calling himself 'it'. he is scribbly and thinks he is scary but i think he is in a lot of pain. was an unpleasant encounter, perception was very disjointed and angular and posture was really weird, he's all curled up and twisted and his hands are like birds feet, the way they are clawed into themselves, and his voice sounds like something between a cough and a retch.
    • new part came out although he is one of the oldest parts i think, he is holding memories from very far back. i say he but he is calling himself 'it'. he is scribbly and thinks he is scary but i think he is in a lot of pain. was an unpleasant encounter, perception was very disjointed and angular and posture was really weird, he's all curled up and twisted and his hands are like birds feet, the way they are clawed into themselves, and his voice sounds like something between a cough and a retch.
    • he brought me back to unpleasant dead things in my childhood.
    • he then flipped quite rapidly through a lot of major grief-trauma from early childhood onwards and i'm aware that i have never grieved anything at all. i do not know how, the pain is removed. i believe he has experienced it all for me. i don't know how to proceed from here, i'm somewhat nervous of doing something wrong and making him retreat, or becoming overwhelmed by any shared grief. bit scared of posting this because i think it all sounds so unpleasant...
    • How does it feel for someone who doesn't know he has DID the first time an alter is out specifically when it comes to 5 sences?
    • Does he/ she complaint that1) he feels as if he listens for the first time as if he didnt listen before2)he feels as if he sees for the same time as if he didnt see before3) he feels he touches and feels things for the first time as if he hasn't touched/felt things before4)he feels like what I am doing here
    • Assuming in a system where an alter has been the host for a long time and then later another takes control,can someone describe the above if he doesn't know he has DID and the fact is he is seeing/hearing/feeling DIFFERENTLY but he says as if I never experienced seeing/hearing/feeling before
    • Danbury police have arrested a patient care technician at Danbury Hospital accused of sexually assaulting a patient in his care.
      Police said the assault happened on June 12 and they arrested Michael Wilmot, 47, of Waterbury, after a lengthy investigation.
      Wilmot has been suspended, according to hospital officials.
    • Police said the victim, a married woman, had gone to to the emergency room that night and was feeling weird after receiving Dilaudid for her pain. 
      She told police that Wilmot, a married father of five, started flirting with her.
      He said he wanted to kiss her, but she told him that would be taking advantage of her because of the drugs.
    • Over the time she was admitted, Wilmot went in and out of her room several times and performed sex acts on her, including oral sex, she said.
      Despite her asking him to stop, he continued, according to the warrant application.
    • On June 13, Wilmot agreed to a voluntary interview, police said, and first denied any sort of sexual contact with any patients on the night in question.
      Later, he said the woman kissed him when he was taking her vital signs and he kissed her back.
      He also admitted to touching her breast and performing a sex act, but denied performing oral sex, according to the police documents.
    • The victim told police Wilmot also told her he knew a lot about her and she thought he was referring to her mental health records at the hospital.
      She suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder, which she compared to multiple personality disorder, and had been treated at the hospital before for cutting after being sexually abused by her therapist, she told police.
    • I dont want to sound- err- ignorant? Idk but i think i have one the worst cases of polyfragmented DID. I have thousands of parts and parts that i do even know exist except for the fact that i write in ajournal. So does anyone know how long it mighttake to recover thousands. Say 4 a night maybe?
    • Hi. I'm new to this forum and so far it seems like it's the only place to come to for help. You see, my wife was just presently diagnosed with Disassociated Identity disorder.
    • We have been together for 8 yrs and married for 7. It was a shot gun wedding so to speak. I met her when she was 18 and I was just in my 30s. It was a fling kind of thing while I travelled the road. Well we were together for 9 months when she got pregnant with our daughter. The guilt of what I did to this young woman made me feel as if I owed her. I promised I would never walk out on her or put anyone or anything before her. Well over time I fell in love with her. She is smart, strong, beautiful and independent and fun. Well as our marriage went on, there were things at first that were weird to me.
    • Anyway through out our marriage, she had back to back pregnancies. I came to find out she was meeting guys on the internet to runaway over seas to. She would meet others, bringing my oldest toddler with her. All of which, I confronted, told her we will work at our marriage and so on.
    • A month later, my mother suffered another stroke and she was at the mercy of my other brother who is a problem of his own. I took the girls and went back east. While I was gone She was drinking and smoking pot while hanging out with our co workers as a cure for the loneliness. I had a feeling that something was wrong because the emails we exchanged were getting strange. I raced back to make it on time for my birthday. Just one state away, she told me something happened. To make s long story short, she cheated on me again, cost us our jobs and thus we were homeless.
    • My problem, and I hope for some insight, is that I feel that I am getting too involved. I recognized the trigger points in our relationship, and I refuse to abandon her.
    • *trigger warning*In the last week our system has undergone MASSIVE change. Some Alt's have 'left' for an undetermined time. 4 of theregulars have seen their names change, personality shifts, more out time, more outside communication.
    • So, massive change, a new life, a new learning curve for myself and my SO (we JUST got used to the old system...blargh!)
    • Anyone out there have similar tales? Advice on how you coped and dealt with the huge changes over the first few weeks.And thanks for listening to my rants on all your boards :)
    • “Many of us today don’t feel totally whole, don’t feel as if we are all here,” relates Sandra Ingerman in her book Soul Retrieval: Mending the Fragmented Self. 
      “Few of us live as fully as we could. When we become aware of this, we want to recover the intensity of life, and the intimacy, that we once enjoyed…We want to come home more fully to ourselves and to the people we love.”
    • According to modern writers on the ancient subject, soul loss accounts for depression, anxiety, a sense of alienation, incompleteness and disconnection, a feeling of being “spaced out,” or “sleepwalking” through life.  Extreme cases include coma, psychosis, fugue states anddissociative identity disorders. 
      Interestingly, the concept that a vital aspect of the self flees or retreats during experiences of extreme pain or disturbance is an idea shared by shamanism and psychotherapy alike. Psychotherapy calls it “disassociation,” shamanism calls it “soul loss.” The purpose in both cases is self-protection.
    • Modern shamanic healers explain that we all lose bits and pieces of our soul, or vital essence, as we go through life.
      The cause doesn’t have to be something as monumental as an accident or as extreme as abuse. It can be as simple as a small child’s sensitivity to her parents’ psychic tension or continued arguing. Little by little, parts of ourselves withdraw and become seemingly lost to us.
    • Rejected elements of the personality are banished from conscious awareness — Jung’s concept of the psyche’s ”Shadow” aspect. This is done unconsciously, to ease the cognitive dissonance of harboring seemingly conflicting or ambiguous feelings; what modern psychology calls “compartmentalization” and repression. 
    • Denied aspects — such as repressed sadness, anger, inner child or libidinous impulses — are effectively exiled. But they do not disappear. They continue to exist “underground,” as it were, in the subterranean caves of the psyche, causing emotional alienation, discomfort and disconnection from self.
      The good news is that excavation of these buried aspects — and a renewal of their accompanying vital forces  — is always possible, and the focus of psychotherapy and shamanic healing alike.
    • The most common approach of neo-shamans is to echo the ancient model of shaman-as-guide in the netherworlds of psyche/non-ordinary reality. As pioneering anthropologist Mircea Eliade wrote in his now classic text “Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy”:
      “Only the shaman can undertake a cure of this kind. For only he ‘sees’ the spirits and knows how to exorcise them; only he recognizes that the soul has fled, and is able to overtake it, in ecstasy, and return it to its body….Everything that concerns the soul and its adventure, here on earth and in the beyond, is the exclusive province of the shaman.”
    • So i just found out i have polyfragmented DID. I truly believe i have one of the worst cases of polyfragmentation. I most definetly have thousands of parts and some personality cluster i do not know of but rarely do i ever feel grounded personality come around.
    • I always have no sense of who i am and although i can remember things before the tramaus, i do not have very little no no feelings or emotions of my past. Im 17 trama started at 12-16.
    • My question is does anyone else have the same problem?? Like i am constantly switching when around people and even animals sometimes so it is literally impossible to form relationships with anyone atm. I just feel like im the only one somtimes. I guess thats it thanks for reading. Replying greatly appreciated :)